I don’t think I have ever felt more ashamed of myself and yet so incredibly proud at the same time. In one fell swoop I managed to obliterate my Whole 30 programme in the most monumental way I have ever ruined any diet before; of this I am truly in awe. Not only did I manage to drink an entire bottle of wine and one very large Long Island Iced Tea in under 2 hours, but I also devoured chocolate, ice cream and lots of mini syrup waffles… I even ate a peanut! I NEVER eat peanuts. In fact I have an inexplicable hatred of peanuts. Perhaps the pressure and restraints of the Whole 30 are just a bit too much for me. Perhaps, but it isn’t going to deter me from trying again – so today I start AGAIN. Today is, once again, Day 1 of my Whole 30. But just to recap on my EPIC failure and spectacular fall from grace:
Day 9 (The FAIL): Breakfast was a quick and easy Scrambled Egg, Smoked Salmon and Avocado. I didn’t quite manage lunch but instead ended up eating Pork Ribs and BBQ Chicken Wings with a side of red wine; lots of red wine. Once we had finished said wine we then shuffled along to the Mexican restaurant for cocktails and more nibbles – Grilled King Prawns and a Long Island Ice Tea. This was followed by a trip to the shop; half a tub of mascarpone ice cream and about 10 mini syrup waffles later I started to feel the despair creep in. Oh dear… what had I done? Well if crying would help, I’d be sitting in the corner in a puddle. I refuse to feel guilty or beat myself up, this was a conscious decision and while it may have gotten out of control, it was definitely intentional. I am now more determined to successfully beat my emotional dependence on food and will simply have to get more creative to keep my taste buds satisfied. Cobwebs and self-doubt have vanished into thin air. Stranger things have happened, I assure you.
I am not going to focus on the things I cannot have. They don’t matter. I want to eat all the things I love whilst removing all the nasties that make me feel so bloated and lethargic and often cause me great pain and discomfort. I am not restricting my intake of protein and fat or any of my favourite fruit and veg. I am happy with all the amazing food that I CAN eat and I want this experience to help me break free from the evils I have grown so attached to recently. Where did all my wholesome healthiness of 2012 go I wonder? Well, lets hope this aids in it’s return. Only time will tell.